Letting God Fight for me

My Heart for Justice: 

I desire to fight for justice. When a company or someone mistreats, exploits and dishonours God's people, animals and nature, I want to do something about it. When I was younger, I took a group of special needs youth on the bus, and this man swore at the kids to move out of his way. I was furious! I yelled at him back and called him a jerk! I guess it's kind of like how Moses killed the soldier who was hurting the Israelites. More recently, I have fought injustice by actively transforming my lifestyle and making better consumer choices by supporting ethical and sustainable movements. God is love and has a heart for justice, and I proudly share this spirit with Him.  

 My Fight Against Spiritual Abuse 

Having been a victim of emotional and physical abuse, I do not tolerate any mistreatment towards me and others. Recently, a lady has been spiritually abusing me and showing me disrespect, threats, and condemnation- all in the name of Jesus! Guess what? I am furious! She uses the name of the Lord to hurt people, and she thinks only the Holy Spirit speaks to her! As God's daughter and image bearer of God, I feel hurt, and my power is being stripped away from me. She continued to pressure and demand meetings when I asked for space and time for healing. I want to fight for justice, for power to be restored, and to cast my judgment upon her sevenfold back. 

 Tired & Defeated For some reason, everybody tells me not to respond or engage with her. My husband stopped me from even sharing with her how much she hurt me. This made me feel even more vulnerable, unprotected, voiceless, and powerless. Not only did people not speak up for me, but I could not speak up for myself. I find myself building bitterness and resentment towards everyone. I felt it was me against the whole family. And I judged and slandered her behind her back to my friends. 

 God's Response After many months, I am emotionally and mentally drained. My relationship with my husband was also affected. What is God teaching me here? At first, I thought God wanted me to forgive and love this EGR (Extra Grace Required). But today, as I was searching verses on justice, I found: 

 "So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help." Isaiah 30:18 

I prayed to God to help me, but I did not ask God to fight for me. 

So, I read the whole chapter and came across this:  

"This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says; "Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it. You said, 'No, we will get our help from Egypt. They will give us swift horses for riding into battle.' But the only swiftness you are going to see is the swiftness of your enemies chasing you!" Isaiah 30: 15-16 

 God is telling me it is not battle but his. God will fight for me. My strength is quietness and confidence in Him. My justice shall be in God's hands.